Rachel Buck

A Dog Named Desire

Rachel Buck is an artist interested in both the natural beauty of our world and the internal landscape. Her practice is still evolving, but it primarily centers around animation and photography. This project, A Dog Named Desire, centers on my lifelong desire for a dog, and how that has manifested itself in my life without fulfillment. I began by following my interest in an alternative childhood, visualizing the dogs I wished I had growing up. I found the process of visually representing my desire cathartic and helped me find closure. Framing my desire as a companion allowed me to sit with it and permit myself to acknowledge the varying levels of dissonance and grief that accompany unfulfilled desires. With a dog which I could not touch as an effective way to represent the role desire fills in my life, I expanded my work to center around desire as a whole. Perhaps my visualization would help others interpret and manage their own desires. After all, every day we each cope with one unfulfilled desire or another, whether it be the day’s to-do list, a dream career, or a dinner that didn’t turn out right. Sometimes it is to be seen, understood, and loved. Desire is intrinsic to our existence, but it is both our greatest asset and greatest downfall. I found in my research that desire is in some ways a necessary evil; both the root of greed, jealousy, resentment, bitterness, and pride, and what drives us towards new and better things. To quote Oxford psychiatrist Neel Burton, “Without this continuous stream of desiring, there would no longer be any reason to do anything: life would grind to a halt...It is desire that moves us and gives our life direction and meaning“ Desire propels our lives forward towards discovery, learning, and growth, yet drives us away from contentment. Our world cannot exist without desires, so we must sit with the ones left unsatisfied.